It's something I've been thinking about for the past few days. I was reading an article about a shooting on campus, this time (oy, THIS time?), this time it was a faculty member who didn't get tenure who opened fired at a faculty meeting. Three wounded, three killed. The article focused on past events in the shooter's life that if things had gone a little differently, she wouldn't have been in the position to do what she did. And those three people would have been alive today.
My thought while reading, this might make an interesting play. This is an interesting CHARACTER.
And then my next thought: what the hell, three people are dead and you're thinking about your next play? Where the hell is your emotional response? Where the hell is your compassion?
Which I HAD. I had an womtional response and compassion....They all led me to think, this might be a good play. Which makes me go: am I a sociopath? Or all writers like this? Do we seek out emotional tragedies in order to have material to create?
I guess the question is.... am I crazy because my emotional reactions tend to lead me to: this would make a great story....?
Right now, my family is undergoing a bit of a crisis. And being the midwesterners that we are, we're dealing with it in a quiet, non-panicking, the events of the day have to keep going sort of way. And the thought that has drifted through my mind.... this might be a good play.
And again, what is wrong with me? And I'm not wrong, the events are a good seed for a play that needs to be told, but WHAT THE HELL? Shouldn't I be there? Shouldn't I be.... doing SOMETHING?
Not that I know what should be doing.
I know, in part, this is me protecting me from an emotional shit storm because I can't be the one to break down. (Well, I could. I'm not so important everything would fall apart without me. But, still...) This is me protecting me from me, but, why THIS reaction? Isn't being emotionally distant like a sign of a lack of compassion or a sign of a lack of empathy? Isn't that bad?
I like to think I pour my compassion and empathy into my work, but isn't that... late?
More questions: When is it ok to start using personal/family events for your work? Right after? A year? When you, the author, are ready? But what about the people around you?
(Odd thought, the Queen Mum asked the writer of the King's Speech not to do anything with it until she passed away... and then she kept living...)
Ultimately, where is it that we divide our emotional self from the writer and the person who is living the life as events unfold? Or is that a false assumption? Is there a division? We live our lives and then we write about it? Or is the living and the writing so entwined that there is no division?
I've asked a lot of questions and have very few answers. But one final one: is writing the act of reflection or the act of recording?
Crap. I don't know. Gotta think on it.
Larry Pontius.