I wish I could be one of those people who looks at the recession as an opportunity to find my bliss. In the movie Up in the Air, George Clooney's character, a specialist who fires people, gives that line to people but you really don't think he believes it himself (and certainly few of the people receiving that speech believe it).
On the other hand, over this past year I've been writing a fair bit on a couple different blogs, been busy shoring up a weekly fundraising event that I produce and MC and re-approach my 1995 decision to give up acting by going out and auditioning. Surprisingly, I've already made some traction and, while the money hasn't quite followed ('do what you love, the money will follow') I feel better about myself as an artist at the very least.
As a kid no one ever told me that I couldn't simultaneously be an actor (I had intricate alternate storylines for what my role in Bewitched would be as well as how I would get out of Flash Gordon type cliffhangers), writer (I had several movies written in my head based on simple movie posters I had drawn, one called ABC123 was a kind of Phantom Tollbooth story), producer (I had my own made-up network consisting of a couple original programs but a smorgasboard of all my favorite shows - I was decades ahead in concept of the DVR) and movie house owner (yes, I frequently had 'showings' of the view master reels I'd bought that week on the new view master projector with the money I earned by washing and drying the dishes and yes I even made up posters and rotated them in and out into a 'current' and 'coming soon' position on the outside wall of my bedroom - no wonder my brother with whom I shared that room hated me!).
These days I run the gamut between doing some acting, writing, producing a weekly bar show (and working on the posters and rotating them from the 'current' to 'coming soon' positions) and am happy that I'm in a place where for all of it's other faults, the recession did end up teaching me the difference between a job that is functional for earning money and a career as an artist that doesn't really have a timeclock or punchcard. In fact, it doesn't even have a shelf life.
It Just Is.
I'm picking up projects again that I dreamt up when I was in my teens and 20s and dabbling in them again. And there's something in all of that that makes me as alive as I've ever been. And if at some point I have to start washing and drying dishes in order to afford being an artist, well, a small price to pay. (But really I'm looking for something more because, well, you know, dishpan hands and all).
All of this came to me when I saw this video this morning by Jean-Sebastian Monzani called Your Secret. I hope you enjoy it.
Your secret from Jean-Sebastien Monzani on Vimeo.
