Extra Criticum

Brazil Butt Lift: A Tongue-in-Cheek Infomercial

"Are you ready to get the best booty of your life?"

What more could anyone want? At last! An infomercial that doesn't take itself seriously. Any infomercial that uses the word "bootylicious" at least once every 90 sec. gets my vote!

Enjoy!

Street Theatre: Talking to the Elderly Like Children

So, I've been visiting a loved one in a nursing home recently. And I find myself fascinated by the way the staff -- doctors, nurses, social workers, etc. etc. -- speak to old people.

It's a lot like the way adults who have never had children of their own can sometimes be heard addressing toddlers.

The pitch of the voice rises to a new register, I suppose in an attempt to match the register of the little person they are addressing. Of course with old folks, that doesn't really apply.

Street Theatre: Protest at 43rd and Eighth Avenue

E.S.T. Auctioning off entire contents of its upstate retreat

As a sad symptom of the financial health of our overall economy, not to mention the state of the arts in this country, Ensemble Studio Theatre is selling its upstate property, as well as all its contents. The property had long served as an upstate summer retreat for artists affiliated with the theatre. But times are tough. And I suppose holding on to the property has become more of a fiscal burden than a benefit. Here's the info, if anyone's planning a trip up north during foliage season.

Could you ask for a cuter drinking buddy?

Just when you thought it wasn't possible for Marylouise Burke to be more adorable, David Clement gives us this song. Video direction by: Kaz Phillips Safer. Enjoy!

Dear ESPN Spammers. I'm afraid you may have made a wrong turn somewhere. This is Extra Criticum, not Extra Innings.

Over the past few days a number of oddly cryptic comments have appeared on various posts throughout the site, all authored by one Linda2077. Spam comments on blogs are generally easy to spot as they usually contain an overt pitch for a product or website. But Linda2077 was a bit more subtle. Perhaps she has a fancy title to match her spamming acumen. Something like: Senior Director of Pseudo Grassroots Enthusiasm? All her comments were vaguely specific and yet each contained the name of at least one major player of the NFL. On a post about early Obama administration efforts to motivate artists to address social issues, Linda added something cryptic about Greek gods or something and then, threw in some player's name. Forgive me if I've already wiped the specifics from my hard drive.

In any case, her oeuvre has now been sent to the appropriate authorities for further investigation. With a little luck, Linda will land in a place more hospitable to what she's selling. After all, we've all got something to sell. There's no crime in that. It's just helpful to pick the proper street corner before you head out on your day.

Big thanks to EC author John Yearley for spotting this cyber-Willy Loman.

Branding: A surrogate for actual content? I doubt it.

Driving up to Vermont, I hear an NPR story about the city of Hartford, CT. The city has engaged a marketing and public relations firm to help it improve its image. Branding is the new obsession for a society that has gradually grown more and more enamored with packaging over product, sizzle over steak. How much do you suppose the city of Hartford spent last year alone on this quest to improve its image?

"You may have to check your cell phone at the door."

I'm on a lot of email lists for industry screenings here and there. And one just came in with the following disclaimer at the bottom in red and in ALL CAPS:

THERE WILL BE SECURITY AT THIS SCREENING
PLEASE DO NOT BRING ANY CAMERAS, LAPTOPS OR RECORDING DEVICES, YOU MAY BE DENIED ENTRY!
YOU MAY HAVE TO CHECK YOUR CELL PHONE AT THE DOOR.

News or Advertising? NPR's MORNING EDITION "investigates" safety drills at Mississippi Nuclear Reactor

Listening to NPR's Morning Edition today, I heard the following story, an audio tour of a safety simulator of the control room at a Mississippi nuclear reactor. Is this really news? Or is it bought-and-paid-for advertising for the nuclear energy lobby. Check this out:

A Crazy Way to Live? Please Elaborate.

This morning on my way back from the gym, I shared the elevator with two silent women. As I turned to get off at my floor, one of them remarked to the other: "This is a crazy way to live."

What do you suppose she meant, exactly?

Wedding of the Century - in Hudson

Tonight at TSL in Hudson, NY:

Linda Mussmann and Claudia Bruce are excited to announce that they will be married at the last stroke of midnight on Saturday July 23 / Sunday July 24, 2011.

The ceremony will be held at Time & Space Limited, located at 434 Columbia Street, Hudson, NY, 12534. The Honorable Richard Scalera, Mayor of the City of Hudson, and The Honorable Cheryl Roberts, Town Justice, Austerlitz, New York, will preside.

Street Theatre: Not Just Any Old Street Light

This morning a guy climbed up to the top of a street light at the intersection of Broadway and 44th. After about 15 min., the cops arrived, followed by EMT. And for nearly an hour thereafter, they tried unsuccessfully to talk him down.

A crowd gathered. And then his real purpose became clear.

New York State Legalizes Gay Marriage

Here's a bit of Streisand that seemed apropos. Enjoy!

Traveling Woes: Why no grapefruit juice?

OK. So I travel a fair amount for work. I find myself in hotels or quaint B&Bs at least half a dozen times each year and I've noticed something that is really starting to make me wonder. And it may sound totally idiotic and silly but, well... See, it's like this. I'm a grapefruit juice lover. In fact, I drink a glass every morning with my coffee ever since I learned (thanks, Dad!) that one glass of grapefruit juice along with your coffee extends the effects of the caffeine twofold.

That's right. Drink a glass of grapefruit juice with your coffee and you'll be alert for 4 hours if a solo cup would normally give you 2. That's not a bad deal. Also, I just like the taste.