I had a little bit of a meltdown yesterday. It started at the computer. And grew from there. We’re talking stomping around the house, hiding in the bed sort of melt down. Eventually, I was able to crawl out of my own wreckage, but there were bruises. And some bleeding. I think I broke a bone. Because I was being mean to myself.
I don’t hate myself. I really don’t. But, I was being mean. Because, yesterday morning, at the computer, I didn’t think I had what it takes to work on a project. My mind was flooded with confusion, indecision, and a total lack of motivation. And that’s when the self hate started. Why DON’T you know what you’re doing? Why DON’T you want to write? Just CHOOSE something and get on with it.